How am I doing? I think I'm doing ok. Last week I got into my mini and I decided that I just couldn't take it anymore and decided to buy a new car. By the end of the week I had purchased a more modern sports car. I'm so grateful that I can finally go places in comfort and not worry about breaking down anymore.

I was looking over my spotify top songs of 2024 and revisiting them last week, too. My top song with over 600 plays was SICKWISHES by mekel. then Love is a lonely thing with over 200 plays. At this point in time, I think I've got a total of ~31k scrobbles for this year on lastfm which is the most I have ever listened to since 2010. I really took advantage of throwing myself into music this year. I had been doing that in years prior, and had made quite a lot of progress in my discoveries, but this year just hit different. I wanted to go to the absolute upper limit of whatever it was I could listen to. This week's release radar had over 100 new additions to it - i am beginning to realize how meticulous I've become with discovering things. I think I may end up writing up a page about my top top songs of 2024. like maybe a summary page about things and my thoughts on each song. idk.

I've been doing great with my ED recovery. I am actively gaining weight and it feels so good to see the progress I am making. I've finally reached a point in my healing and whatnot that I'm feeling contented about a lot of different things. I'm still having nightmares and flashbacks and stupid shit but i am glad that it's not plaguing me the way it was before. It felt really bad for a really, really long time, and I knew I just had to get through it. like, just feel it and stuff. and i guess im just glad that i dont have to be in pain anymore. like it doesnt hurt in the same way anymore and it feels so good. im here and i'm alive and I'm doing things that I'm happy about.

being unaffected by the actions of others has come with this level of healing and im feeling very confident and assured of myself these days. i dont think anybody could shake me at this point that i am at and i am glad for it.